


but we'll be alright (eventually)

by grilledhaifisch



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Gen, How Do I Tag, Let The Boys Have Fun, Magnus feels guilty, Merle is star-watching, Nightmares, Post-The Eleventh Hour, Taako makes pancakes, please help, slight body horror, so does Taako, the tres horny boys are Friends and Support Each Other, they all have trouble sleeping, which are promptly forgotten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 02:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11071833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grilledhaifisch/pseuds/grilledhaifisch
Summary: Magnus wakes up in a cold sweat. There's someone knocking rapidly on the door to his room, obviously impatient for some reason. He turns on the light by his bed and stands up, and when he looks at his pillow it's almost soaked in tears (or drool, but he dispels the thought that he was trying to eat his pillow when he touches his face and finds his cheeks wet).He thinks back to his dream, and he sits down on his bed again, his head in his hands. He stays like that for a while, trying to breathe slowly and not choke on empty air, until he hears the rapid-fire knocking again.Magnus dreams. Taako makes pancakes. Merle star-gazes.





	but we'll be alright (eventually)

**Author's Note:**

> what is up i really like TAZ  
> lit. the first fanfic i've ever put up on the internet  
> hope y'all like it  
> 

Magnus looks at Julia’s back, and for a moment, he reels from seeing her again, after so many years.

She looks exactly like he remembers, her hands rough and her wavy black hair pulled into a short ponytail. She's wearing the exact same dress as when he left.

He wants to say "I love you", like all those times in the workshop, in their home, in their small private moments.

He wants to say "I missed you", like all those times he had come home after spending the night working, hammering away at a chair or a shelf due the next day.

He wants to say all the things he didn't get to say before it happened. The things he didn't get to say the first time 'round.

Instead, he just collapses onto his knees, and he cries. He cries until he can't cry anymore. She's there, right there, and he can't reach out to her. Can't hold her in his arms. Can't stroke her hair lovingly. Can't kiss her on the cheek. He's sure that if they touch, even if he just grazes her, she will collapse into a million pieces.

"Jules," he chokes out, and she turns around.

But it isn't her.

Her face is burnt, and then, suddenly, so is the rest of her. Her hands are blackened and the stench is horrible. It reminds him of the time with Gundren. He hadn't noticed the smell then, he had been preoccupied with talking the dwarf down and trying to stop him from burning down Phandalin, but it comes back to him now. Her body is charred, and her scorched mouth widens in a terrifying grimace, a mockery of a smile.

"What is it, Magnus?" she, no, _it_ asks. Its mouth doesn't move.

Magnus is frozen, unsure whether he should stand up and fight or run as far as possible, but either way he's sure he's going to die.

The burnt-up figure looks down at him. He can't find it in himself to meet its eyes.

"It's your fault," it snarls. "You should have stayed. You should have helped us."

"How could I have known - I thought - I -" Magnus stammers.

In the corner of his eye, Magnus can see another blackened figure appear. It looks like Steven, big and sturdy.

"I'm disappointed," the thing that looks like Steven almost whispers. "You should have killed him when you had the chance."

"I - I thought he wasn't going to - you know I didn't -” Magnus is panicking, and he stands up, backing away from the two things pretending to be the people he once adored and loved with his whole heart. As he stumbles backwards, he bumps into another humanoid thing. That's when he notices that, all around him, charred, burnt figures are appearing. Many are familiar, shaped like the people in Raven's Roost, people he talked to every day. Others look like the townsfolk from Phandalin, and he recognizes the shape of Barry Bluejeans. Something about his charred body seems… _familiar_ , in a way, but Magnus can't quite put his finger on it.

He doesn't get much time to think about it either way, since the figures are closing in on him now, and it isn't long before he's struggling to move. They're all talking at the same time, saying the same things over and over; "You should have saved us", "You should have done something", "You could have prevented this" repeating again and again.

He tries to push them away, but they just keep coming, keep trying to drown him in the tar-like substance that's pouring from their mouths, and soon he's completely under.

He's trying not to breathe, but something hits him right in the solar plexus and the air in his lungs is forced out. He reflexively breathes in through his mouth, filling his mouth and lungs with the thick liquid surrounding him. He chokes, trying to get it out, but only succeeds in breathing in even more of the stuff. He opens his eyes and flails, tries to swim to the surface, failing to do anything but sink even further down into the murky depths.

Weirdly enough, he can see his hands and arms, and when he looks down he can also see the rest of his body, like the liquid is clear, but he can see neither the surface nor the bottom. After what seems like an eternity, he stops moving, all of his energy gone. He sinks slowly, and he drowns in the thick, black liquid.

Magnus wakes up in a cold sweat. There's someone knocking rapidly on the door to his room, obviously impatient for some reason. He turns on the light by his bed and stands up, and when he looks at his pillow it's almost soaked in tears (or drool, but he dispels the thought that he was trying to eat his pillow when he touches his face and finds his cheeks wet).

He thinks back to his dream, and he sits down on his bed again, his head in his hands. He stays like that for a while, trying to breathe slowly and not choke on empty air, until he hears the rapid-fire knocking again.

He walks to the door shakily, but hesitates, not sure if he can handle anyone seeing him like this, red-eyed and vulnerable. He takes the door handle, but before he can open the door, it's forced open by Taako, who has bags under his eyes and looks, for all intents and purposes, like he's about to murder someone.

Magnus stares down at the elf, eyes wide.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"For fucks' sake, can't you keep it down? Some of us are trying to get our beauty sleep, just so you know, and-" Taako stops abruptly when he looks, really _looks_ at Magnus, who looks like he's just experienced a nightmare. Which, considering the hour, might not be that far off. He curses his indiscretion, but another part of his brain argues that he couldn't _possibly_ have known that Magnus' yells had been because of night terrors, and that it wasn't Taakos' fault his ears were so sensitive, and that it was only reasonable that he had gotten irritated and tried to chastise Magnus for being so loud.

_Except Magnus hadn't even been that noisy_ , a small, treacherous part of him thinks. Taako had already been having trouble sleeping, and Magnus had just been a perfect scapegoat. Taako tries not to think about that, and turns his attention back to Magnus.

"Wow, dude, you look like shit."

Magnus chuckles at that, but it's a dry and tired laugh, not the hearty one Taako has come to expect from the man. It unnerves him.

"Thanks, so do you." Magnus fires back and laughs again at the undignified squawk Taako emits.

"And whose fault is that?" he mutters, before turning towards their shared kitchen. He supposes that now that they're both awake, it wouldn't hurt grabbing something to eat before trying to go to sleep again. "You want some food?" he asks, and is not at all surprised when Magnus shoots back a "some pancakes would be nice".

After a small pause, he sets to work, gathering the ingredients and putting the pan on the stove.

While he's mixing the batter, he keeps thinking back to Glamour Springs and the vision the Chalice showed him.

It was all Sazeds' fault.

Taako didn't kill anyone.

Which means he's been avoiding cooking for no reason at all.

And he begins to laugh, because here he is, 6 years later, and he's finally cooking without having to taste-test everything 20 times in a row, without second-guessing everything he's doing. Granted, he's not cooking with magic, he's not sure he's going to be ready or even _able_ to do that for a while, but he's doing the one thing he's been afraid of doing for so long, and he feels free. He feels confident that nothing will go wrong. He's pretty sure nothing can top this.

_But you gave the townsfolk the samples_ , that treacherous part of him from before whispers. _You didn't taste the food you prepared, and, as a result, 40 people died._

_Sazed might have put the arsenic in, but you gave it to them._

And Taako pauses just as he's about to pour the first ladle of batter onto the pan. But before he gets to put the bowl down and taste-test it at least 10 times and make it again just to be sure that it hadn't gone bad (been poisoned) like he would've done before Refuge, Magnus puts his hand on Taakos' shoulder. He glances up at Magnus, and his face radiates trust.

"That looks like the best goddamn batter I've ever seen." Magnus says, looking like he means every word.

They stay like that for a while, and eventually Taako manages to croak out a "Thanks, dude."

"No, really, I am fucking starving, and that batter is looking more and more delicious the longer I look at it. If you don't hurry up and make some pancakes out of it I might just eat it right from the bowl." Magnus says, completely serious. Taako blinks a couple of times, laughs, and he pours the batter in the ladle onto the pan. Soon, the kitchen is filled with the sweet smell of pancakes.

"Do you have any idea where Merle is? He would love to get a piece of this action," Magnus asks while they're eating (Taako took the first pancake, he wouldn't have it any other way).

"Sorry, no clue.  He's probably sleeping his ass off. I swear, I once saw him sleep through a damn parade, marching band and all. You can go look for him if you'd like," Taako answers, and pops a small piece of his pancake into his mouth. "Not guaranteeing I'm coming with, though." he says through a mouth full of pancake.

"Not a problem, dude. Just don't finish the pancakes before I get back." Magnus says as he stands up. He wipes his mouth with the back of his arm, making Taako grimace in disgust. "No guarantee of that either if you keep acting like some uncivilized gorilla!" he yells after Magnus as he walks into the hallway connecting his and Merles' rooms to the kitchen. After Magnus leaves, Taako just sits for a bit, quietly eating the last of his pancake.

He laughs shakily, amazed that he actually did it. He actually made a dish without having to re-make it twice, without having to taste it even once before it was finished. And as the laughter bubbles forth, so do the tears. He's smiling so widely it hurts.

Taako feels like he can take on the world, and nothing is stopping him.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Merle looks through the window into their kitchen and sees Taako's back, his face pointing away from Merle. The rest of him is obscured by his ridiculous wizard hat. He looks like he's laughing his ass off. Merle scoffs, and turns his gaze back to the stars. He's not sure, but he thinks there's a couple fewer of them than when he went out about an hour ago. He prays to Pan that he's not going senile, he's only 217. Barely past middle age. He sits down and begins to rub his tree-like prosthetic arm without knowing why.

Maybe it's because of its connection to his god, but he feels safer, more secure when he feels the rough bark under his fingers. Under his feet, small flowers begin to bloom.

He thinks back to the time in Lucas' lab, when he reached out to the speck of pink tourmalimani... whatever it was called. He's not sure if he feels relieved that Magnus was so quick to respond and stop the spreading of the gem or worried that he was so ready to actually _chop Merles' arm off_. Still, he muses as he looks up into the night sky, no use crying over spilt arms.

His mind wanders to Mookie and Mavis, and how they'll react when they see him next time. Mookie will most probably be absolutely thrilled to see him sporting a whole new arm made of living tree, but Mavis... She'll probably be a bit more skeptical of whether his job is really secure. Whether Mookie should follow in his fathers' footsteps and become an adventurer.

Merle sighs. She's a smart kid. He wishes he had been there for her when she was growing up. Maybe after this is all done, after all the artifacts are destroyed or... secured or whatever happens in that chamber, he'll settle down. Find a home. Visit his kid(s) more. Get to know them. Be a real dad, instead of just someone who drops by once in a while. After all, there are only, what, two relics left? He's sure they'll be done in no time.

He looks up, and this time he's sure there are quite a few stars missing.

His musings are interrupted by Magnus clearing his throat beside him.

"I was going to ask you if you wanted some pancakes, but it seems like you're pretty tied up in your starwatching. Uh... mind if I join you?" Magnus asks looking down, a sheepish grin on his face.

"No, by all means, be my guest." Merle pats the patch of grass beside him.

"Thanks!" Magnus sits down and crosses his legs.

"So... what were you thinking about?" he inquires after a few minutes of looking up into the dark blue sky.

"Well... Y'know. Stuff. How things are down planet-side." Merle answers vaguely. He's not sure if he wants to share the fact that he has two kids with the others just yet.

"Do you have any family down there?" Magnus looks sideways towards him, seemingly not quite satisfied with his verbal shrug.

"Do you?" He retorts, a bit because he's bitter with Magnus poking and prodding where he shouldn't be, but mostly because he wants to avoid having to answer.

"I... I suppose I did, in a way." Magnus sounds somber, and when Merle looks up towards him he's looking towards the _real_ moon with a bittersweet expression on his face, and if Merle had been the kind of person to freely give out hugs he would absolutely be hugging the shit out of Magnus right now. Because Pan damn it if he didn't look like a kicked dog.

Instead, Merle opts for a pat on the back.

"Listen. I may not be the best at saying this, but... It sounds like you've been through some tough shit. And you've probably heard this spiel before about how if you're ever alone or in a dark time in your life, you can always count on us and all that jazz, but let me just say this. If you ever feel alone, or feel like you can't count on anyone but yourself... Just remember that we're always right behind you. Me and Taako, well, we might not be the brightest of the bunch, or the sharpest tools in the shed or what have you, but I know that I'm always gonna support you, and I'm sure that if Taako were here he'd say the same thing. Maybe he’d be a bit ruder and not quite as wordy, but he’d essentially say the same thing."

Merle breathes out heavily, and looks warily at Magnus.

"Thanks. I appreciate it," He says, tears in his eyes. He smiles mischievously before dragging out an extremely exaggerated " _Dad_."

"Don't make me sound older than I already am, you - you scamp!" Merle yells and punches Magnus, who's just about burst into laughter, lightly on the arm.

"Worth it!" he gets out between cackles, and Merle stands up, crosses his arms and begins to tap his foot on the ground like a father disapproving of his sons' actions.

"You better go to your room, young man!" he says in his best stern voice, but he can barely finish the sentence before he's also beginning to laugh.

He notices that Taako is coming out to see what they're doing, and Magnus waves him over, still laughing.

"What are you two chucklefucks losing your shit over?" Taako asks, looking absolutely exasperated.

Magnus manages to get out a "T-Taako, Merle is - Merle is our dad now." before doubling over in laughter. Taako stares at him, and then turns his back to the man.

"CAN I NOT LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR TWO SECONDS WITHOUT YOU DOING SOME WEIRD SHIT?" Taako yells out into the night sky, gesturing to the heavens. Magnus just laughs on.

After Taako starts chasing Magnus around the field and a bit of roughhousing when Merle tries to stop them, only to end up as part of the fray, they all end up lying exhausted on the cold grass, chortling all the while.

Merle wipes his tears from his eyes, and slowly stops laughing as he looks up into the night sky, where the stars are winking out.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!!  
> (#LetTheBoysRest2k17)  
> (also pleas gib feedback if you want)


End file.
